Ladies first? Or Just Common Courtesy?
Regarding last month’s article, one reader mentioned to me about her own experience on crowded trains. Her commute to work was similar to my experiences. She was pushed around by other passengers, her feet were stepped on and her face and head was hit by elbows on a daily basis. During her commute, she wondered if the notion of “ladies first” existed in this circumstance. Since American men were known to have a “ladies first” mentality, she was curious to see how they would react to this situation. She wanted to know what my opinions were about this certain aspect of Japanese culture.
First, let me try to define what “ladies first” means. It is a custom where men give special treatment to women. An example of this custom would be men opening doors for women or assisting them with their chairs as they sit down. And to answer the question about whether the idea of “ladies first” exist on the train or bus, I would say that it depends on the situation. Until I had my own car, I used to take the bus almost every day in college. I never felt obligated to offer my seat every time I saw a woman enter the bus, and I am sure most people I am acquainted with, male or female, would agree that it was not necessary for a man to give up his seat to a woman for the sole reason that she was a woman. However, if I saw someone who looked like they needed to sit down, such as an elderly person or an injured person, I would gladly offer my seat to them, regardless of their gender. Most people would probably do the same thing as well. It would just be common courtesy.
In Tokyo, what amazes me was that I often see many young people that do not give up their seat to an elderly person, even though they were sitting in the “Silver Seats.” It was even more annoying when they pretended to be asleep. However, if I was on a Tozai line train during the morning rush hour and saw an “OL” being smothered by “salarymen,” my immediate response would be to offer my seat to her. My motivation to give up my seat was not because of my convictions to always be a “ladies first” person, but because it was common courtesy. If I was an “OL,” I wouldn’t want to be surrounded by a bunch of middle aged “salarymen.” Unfortunately, during the thirteen month period of riding overcrowded Tozai line trains during the morning rush hour, I do not think I have ever had the opportunity to sit down. But like I said last month, I am just glad I don’t live there anymore!