This article reflects something I read when was studying in Canada and it was the written perspective of a non-Japanese person, written for non-Japanese people to read regarding Japanese culture/society.
Upon entering Japan one soon discovers an unusual trait of Japanese people - they can both insult you and compliment you at the same time. Many westerners coming to Japan will, right from the airport, be drowned in the "compliment" Nihongo wa jouzu desu neh, or "Your Japanese is good". It's usually spoken in a "Look Mom, the horse can do math problems" kind of way - slightly condescending. The problem with all this is that it is put on you a thousand times a day, every time you open your mouth, in exactly those same words - never once said in a different way. And it seems to have nothing to do with your Japanese language ability. In fact, the better your Japanese ability gets, the less you hear it. To Japanese people, they are not consciously looking down on you, but rather trying to establish a rapport through bombarding you with things they think you like to hear. It's important not to get upset about this and just play humble by denying the praise over and over as they would.
All of that is relatively benign. The real problem is dealing with the occasional Japanese Neanderthal where even if you've attained near native fluency they still have a "See-White-Face, Hear-Japanese, Does-Not-Compute" mentality, or the occasional elitist complaining how you foreigners never bother to learn Japanese, and then you come along speaking proper Japanese and they insist on doing all communication in English. The reason being that more conservative types see language as race, and race as language, and when there is someone not part of the group who is suddenly among "us", they unconsciously feel a threat. Many Japanese people view westerners on two levels -- if you are taken as a temporary visitor, they nearly always treat you extremely warmly and helpfully; even lavishly. But if you are someone trying to become a member of society, there are incidents when they can take on quite a different attitude towards you.
I appreciate your reading this little rant and hope that you can find some good in it. As for myself, I can relate to some of what I have written; in that I have personally seen some of these instances and feel that even though we all mean well in our intentions, sometimes - because of cultural disparities - feelings can indirectly be hurt because of a lack of consideration. It is written with the intent not to hurt feelings but to highlight some cultural discord that can easily be overcome by giving a little thought to each other’s position. I personally believe in benevolence and would encourage benevolent consideration when dealing with all people - not only foreigners.
